A Good Democrat

To be a Liberal Today, You Have to Believe…

That the AIDS virus is spread by lack of funding

That trial lawyers are selfless heroes, but doctors are overpaid

That the global temperatures are affected more by yuppies driving SUV's than by cyclical, documented changes in the brilliance of the sun

That guns in the hands of law abiding Americans are more of a threat than nukes in the hands of Iranian terrorists

That businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity

That self-esteem is more important than doing any thing to earn it

That there was no art before federal funding

That the NRA is bad because it stands up for a certain part of the Constitution, but the ACLU is good because it stands up for certain parts of the Constitution

That taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high

That Harriet Tubman, Cesar Chavez and Gloria Steinam are more important to an understanding of American history than Thomas Jefferson, Robert E Lee and Thomas Edison

That the worst thing you can find wrong in our school system is children praying

That standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas aren't

That any change in the weather has to be due to global warming

That the national wealth is determined by what we consume, not what we produce

If you worked hard to get where you are today and you don't give it away to someone too lazy to earn it themselves, then you're oppressive

That the only wars that America should become involved in are those that don't put the national security at risk

That perjury and obstruction of justice are impeachable crimes if a republican president like Nixon commits them, but harmless private matters if a democratic president like Clinton commits them

That the way to end racism is to give people special treatment on the basis of skin color, race, or sexual preference

That we can have a strong military without spending money on it

That the way to improve public schools is to give more money to those who have wasted it in the past with no results

That a mother can be trusted to end the life of her unborn child but cannot be trusted to pick for herself where her children should go to school

That second-hand smoke is more dangerous than HIV

That hunters and fisherman don't care about nature, but pasty-faced activists who rarely leave the Upper West Side of Manhattan do

That bureaucrats in Washington know how you should spend your money better than you do

That Hillary Clinton is a strong example of feminist independence because everything she's gotten in her life is a result of marriage to her husband

That a handful of religious wackos living in isolation in rural Texas are more of a public threat than the wackos committing crimes in the inner parts of any major city

That cigarette and liquor advertising must be banned because it causes young people to smoke and drink, but we needn't worry about sex and violence in TV programming because kids don't pay attention to what happens between the commercials

That passing new laws are a better way to combat crime instead of enforcing the ones we have

That the reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it was tried is because people like you haven't been in charge

We don't need God, look how well we're doing without Him!